When Social Media Shines

I heard the news as I was driving home last night: a major earthquake in Haiti had brought the country to its knees. I still have family there, and from the news reports I knew that the earthquake had hit close to where they lived.

So I went for the immediate, old-timer's reflex: I called my aunt on the phone. She confirmed what the news stations said: it is almost impossible t get a line and she hasn't heard from anybody.

When I finally reached home, I went straight for my Twitter and Facebook accounts and there, I managed to get information that would have been impossible to get any other way.

I began with Twitter in order to figure out what was happening, and to see if anyone in my network had any information on the situation. It was all very chaotic; a good place to get a global overview of things but nothing like what I really wanted to know: is my family all right?

Facebook is a whole different story, though. On Twitter, I'm willing to connect with pretty much anybody. But on Facebook, I triage. If I don't know you personally or if I don't recognize your picture, you don't get on my list. So the people in my Facebook are a much more tightly knit group of individuals than in any other network (LinkedIn, Twitter, etc.).

Through my Facebook friends, real information started trickling in: one aunt and uncle were OK but had lost their home; two other aunts and my grandmother were fine, just rattled a bit; another uncle and aunt, who live in an area that was severely affected by the quake were also OK but their hous had suffered. By 1 AM, I had heard all of the important news I needed to know: my family was all right, and I could go to sleep (somewhat) peacefully. Everything else could wait until the next day.

I'll admit that I'm not normally a big user of any of the social media platforms. The only one I strive to use regularly is Twitter (more on that later). However, after going through yesterday's ordeal, I have new respect for these tools: there was no other way I could have gotten as much information from as many different sources. Trying to do this by the phone, or even by email, would have been impossible. With the social media tools, one status update from a friend gave more information than I could get by making 20 different phone calls.

Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, and other social media sites can become a huge time-sucking black hole if ou aren't careful. As a solo entrepreneur, I have to watch out for that, which is the reason I tend to limit my time on these platforms. I use them a few minutes per day, late in the evening, which ensures I don't spend five hours.

In a time of crisis, though, there isn't any better tool.

What about Twitter? Well, I use an automated system (SocialOomph.com) to schedule tweets on various topics during the week. I do so in a semi-disciplined manner. Every Sunday night, I sit down and write enough "Laurent's Gems" to fill the week, and then I schedule them. I have found that by doing so, once again, I save a lot of time and it forces me to write something coherent at least once a week.

In all of the earthquake turmoil, I forgot to turn it off temporarily, so after a string of "Where's My Family" updates, here comes another one that tells you to consider working in a smaller company if you are dissatisfied with your job.

Yeah, I know, awkward.

Finding fault or getting the best out?

The school system is based on a fault-finding approach, and that typically finds its way in our dealings with other people in business situations. The problem with fault-finding is that it is inherently disheartening.

Nobody's perfect and most people seek to improve their results by improving what they currently do. Fault-finding is focused on the past, and rarely looks to the future. But you can't fix the past, so sticking to fault-finding does not help anything.

Many managers, unfortunately, know how to criticize but aren't necessarily sure how to follow that criticism with steps toward an improved situation. To reach that improved situation, well, you need to know what that situation is!

I remember hearing a speaker ask a crowd of sales people: "Are you ready to bring your business to the next level?" and the crowd roared its approval. He followed that question with this one: "How many of you know what the next level looks like?" Not many hands went up. This is typical of fault-finding; we know what we don't want, but not necessarily what we DO want.

Instead of finding fault and criticizing, it's better to provide feedback. How is feedback different? Feedback is a loop. It's not a monologue but a dialogue. It gives the other person a chance to reply, to push back, to provide his or her opinion when needed. Doing so brings up another issue: ego.

People in leadership positions, but with fragile egos, will not accept pushback. They have difficulty accepting another person's opinion or objections. They won't accept that they could be wrong, so instead of giving someone else the opportunity to debate, they simply close the door to that option. This is the typical attitude of "I'm the boss, just do as I say."

Changing one's away of dealing with subordinates and moving from a coercive model to a cooperative model requires much work on oneself. In order to succeed, you need to have healthy self-esteem, you need to learn not to take things personally, and you need to learn to listen.

Furthermore, you need to focus more on the employee's needs and wants, and finding a way of aligning them with your objectives, instead of forcing the employee to adopt your point of view. You need to demonstrate more empathy. In short, you need to care more about the employee as a person, and not just as another body helping you to attain your goals.

That change is much more difficult to achieve than it seems. So rather than going through the challenges required to change ourselves, we prefer to try and change others... using the same old, ineffective methods.

RCMP leadership

An interesting article this morning about the leadership at the RCMP in Quebec. While I have yet to see the full report, some interesting information emanates from this article:

• All of the information emanates from the employees. It seems like the researchers did a form of 360-degree evaluation, where they asked all sorts of questions to the employees, in order to get a real portrait of their life at work.
• Competition for promotion gets in the way of real work. I was asked recently if competition in the workplace was a good idea or not. I think most of the time it is, but there are instances where it is not. For example, if it gets in the way of corporate objectives. Another is if there are limited resources available and too many people are competing for the same resource. With the RCMP, it seems to be the case on both these counts.

  Without knowing how things work internally, it looks like the criteria for success are incorrect. They seem to be pointing to personal victories instead of victories that benefit the whole of the organization. Hence the complaints that "careerism" is favoured.

• Lack of training for senior officials. This one, unfortunately, is rampant. It isn't something that is specific to the RCMP. Too many senior executives do not have, nor take, the time to properly develop and update their people skills. They often lift their nose at the concept, thinking that the bottom line is the most important part of the business, and that people should just understand this and follow along. Men, especially, are guilty of this.

  What they often fail to realize is that the human aspect of a business is often its most important and costly. Just take a look at what is happening at the Detroit Big Three. Our skills with people are constantly put to the test and what used to work, may not work as well today. In the case of the RCMP, it seems that conflict management does not work properly at all, since there is no crackdown on dubious behaviours.
  

• Image polishing at all costs. According to its employees, the RCMP seems more interested in the image it projects than what is really affecting its operations. Managing one's image is fine, but at some point in time, you can no longer tame such a beast. Madoff tried it and failed. Satyam tried and failed. Now the RCMP seems to be failing also. At some point, to re-establish an image, you have to eliminate the previous one. Trying to hide issues at all costs, especially in a government agency, can only bring about charges of lack of transparency.

  I don't advocate full disclosure at all levels. However, given the choice between addressing a serious issue that can portray an unflattering image in the media, and sweeping an issue under the rug in the hope that it will disappear, I recommend the former.

• Management doesn't listen and doesn't have a clue. Once again, that is not limited to the RCMP. It is amazing how often I will speak to the employees of a client who tell me of all sorts of issues that they see in the company, yet when I speak to the senior executives, they tend to dismiss it as "employees who are never happy." While there is some of that, when the same issues get reported over and over again, by multiple employees of varying responsibility levels, it's time to listen and act.

In another article, the RCMP made a list of resolutions for 2009. Many of them had to do with operations and infrastructure. But if they want to keep on "getting their man", let's they don't forget the human side.

Recent quotes on other sites

I was quoted in Infoworld on angry IT workers:

Staff reductions following the dot-com crash have stripped many IT staffs to the bone, forcing those that remain to double or triple their workloads. The piling on of work can demoralize the people charged with keeping the business going, says Laurent Duperval.

Read more here:Angry IT workers: A ticking time bomb?

I also was quoted on CareerBuilder.com on being the bad guy at work, and the effects:

"Employees want to be treated with respect and they want to feel valuable," Duperval cautions. If your type of bad guy is disrespectful and humiliating, then don't expect to receive much appreciation in return.

Read more here: Does It Pay To Be the Bad Guy at Work?

And if you are considering using an OS in a consumer device, think Linux:

Technology News: Mobile Tech: Linux Where You'd Least Expect It

Standing in the eye of the storm

Last week, I was discussing the Maple Leaf situation with some of my colleagues. Many of them disagreed with the approach taken by Maple Leaf to handle the current situation. Their perspective was that it was better to send a PR representative instead of the president. The reasoning was as follows: if things get worse, who do you send to the front lines then?

I disagree: Maple Leaf did the right thing and I wish more companies would follow their lead. When your company is facing a critical issue, one that could potentially spell the end, you don't send a mouthpiece to do the dirty work: you do it yourself. And you do it often.

Sending a representative for such important issues gives the following message: This isn't important enough for the president to be involved. For Pete's sake, people are dying here! If there is any time to send your president to face the storm, this is it!

This weekend, Maple Leaf put another full ad in the paper where president McCain (wow, that's a funny thing to say in September 2008) explained what steps are being taken to resolve the problem. Once again, he is reassuring their customers that all precautions are being taken fix the current problem and to prevent something like this from happening again.

Mr. McCain has done a lot of things right during the crisis:

• he apologized and admitted guilt;
• he has not tried to lay blame on anyone but himself and his company. Specifically, he hasn't tried to blame the current inspection process in Canada;
• he has taken precautions beyond the minimal requirements to help resolve the issue;
• he has communicated often to keep people aware of what is going on, and he is explaining and describing the progress and process.
  

Many companies can learn from Maple Leaf's stance: when things go wrong, if you are in a leadership position then you need to maintain that position throughout difficult times. You can't just hide and hope it goes away; you can't stop talking and expect people around you to fill in the blanks. You need to take responsibility, keep communication channels open, and take concrete steps to resolve the issue.

This works in business when dealing with clients or when dealing with employees. And by the way, it also works at home with your loved ones!

Law of unintended consequences

This weekend I met someone who made me wonder about the long lasting impact we have on people, often without our realizing it.

I attended a festival in my hometown of Sherbrooke, Québec. As I was watching a dance show, someone tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Hey Whodini, how are you?”

I looked at the young man sporting mirrored shades and replied, "I'm doing fine thanks."

"You don't remember me do you?"

"Can't say that I do, sorry."

"Remember back in the 80s you used to work in a video arcade? Whenever you worked, you always played a lot of rap and hip-hop in the arcade. We loved it and you were the only guy we knew who listened to that kind of music and you made us a tape. Today I have a large collection of rap and hip-hop records, and it keeps on growing. For the past 16 years, my friend and I have been hosting a hip-hop radio show every week."

I was a bit taken aback that someone I had no contact with, other than seeing him once in awhile during a part-time job, would remember me almost 20 years later. I was even more surprised that a little gesture that I had forgotten about had had such an impact for so long.

I never would have known about this, had I not bumped into him quite accidentally. Then it got me to thinking: how many other people have I unwittingly affected, for better or for worse?

If I had to make a complete list of all of the people I have met, and had to evaluate all of the results of those interactions, what would the conclusion be? Would it be overwhelmingly positive? Negative? Somewhat positive? Or would I mostly have left them indifferent?

If you've ever read the book “Freakonomics”, you've heard about the law of unintended consequences. It's the law that says that any action will have some sort of unexpected outcome, such as what happened above.

I've been fortunate enough to know of (now) two unintended consequences of my actions. Someone else once told me that I had showed him what software I used to balance my chequebook. From there, he developed an interest in money management and today he has his own business. Who knew?

A more notable example is Facebook. It was originally developed to help a few college buddies keep in touch after school. Today, Facebook is the darling of the Internet and putting one's profile on site has much more impact than it used to.

How have you been impacted by unintended consequences? Or how have you impacted others in ways you did not expect?

Sometimes, being good just isn't enough

I am comforting my wife who is lamenting the loss of Will on "So You Think You Can Dance." The general sentiment is that Will was the best dancer of the lot, and many (including the judges, I believe) expected him to win the competition.

Yet tonight, he was kicked off the show. His talent, his grace, and his good looks did not save him.

Personally, I think it's a shame because I thought he was much better than Mark. But that's just me. Evidently, I was the minority. Plus, I didn't vote.

The results of the show are a mirror of what occurs in a number of situations in real life:

• the most competent person is not necessarily the one that gets the promotion;
• the one with the toughest job doesn't have the highest salary;
• the one with the most talent doesn't have the most recognition.

It's just part of life. But when it happens to us, we become angry, we become upset, we blame other people, we carry a grudge, and so on. The result hurts us and affects the people around us also. The solution? A change of attitude. Instead of blaming and getting upset, focus on what you can control.

At one my son's recent soccer games, we were saddled with an incompetent referee. He made many bad calls and, surprise, surprise, the calls went against my son's team. At some point, the parents became loud and began yelling and cursing at the referee. He had to interrupt the game to let us know: "If you keep yelling, I will stop the game."

We had no control over what was happening on the field. We had to make a choice: if we kept complaining, the kids' game would be stopped and the coach would be fined. If we shut up, the situation would probably not change but the kids would be able to play their game and the coach would be off the hook. We shut up.

To some, such an attitude is a sign of weakness. To some, we should have continued to voice our disapproval because "the ref was wrong."

This response shows that the wrong criteria are used to evaluate the parents' reaction. The right criteria is: what is best for the kids?

You may have heard this before: you can be happy or you can be right. Too often, our ego gets in the way and we try to be right just for the sake of being right. Sometimes, it's worth the battle but sometimes it's just a waste of energy.

In business, the person who gets the promotion is judged on criteria tat may have nothing to do with their current job. The person who has the highest salary is probably bringing more value to the company, even if the job may not seem as hard. The person with the most talent probably doesn't have the best marketing vehicle.

In "So You Think You Can Dance" the votes didn't go toward the most talented dancer, probably because the criteria used to vote was something other than "best dancer," however you define it.

Some people have decided to stop watching the show because they disagree with the voting. Meh. I'll still watch it when I can, because I enjoy dancing and I think the kids on the show dance very well.

Plus, I gotta see it this is going to end up being a train wreck.

Let it go, already!

I had an interesting online discussion about this article:

ESPN - Slur incident at VMI sets WVU's Stewart on defensive - College Football

In case you chose not to read it, here is the gist: over 10 years ago, Bill Stewart, then a coach at Virginia Military Institute, used a racial slur (the N word) while talking to a student.

Today, he has been hired as a coach for a new school yet the school still has to defend their choice.

The incident occurred more than 10 years ago, Stewart explained what happened, apologized, resigned. What, does he have to sacrifice his first born on TV for people to just let it go and move on? Please!

We've all done idiotic things in our past, and we will continue making mistakes in the future. Very seldom should people be castigated for life because of their mistakes.

There is a larger issue here, which is that of language. The use of the N word is highly emotional, and can skewer one's perception of the message. This can often lead to miscommunication because we fixate on that single word instead of look at the bigger picture.

In this case, Stewart's intent was clear: he wanted to teach the young man that his antics could draw the ire of people in his community. His choice of words left to be desired.

One of my cousins told me something that sounds like this: "A n..... is the one that steals, does drugs and otherwise acts the fool."

No doubt you will be faced with situations where someone uses a word or phrase that you find highly offensive. What can you do?

• Before dismissing that person's comments outright, take a moment. Breathe.
  
• Unless the person is displaying an oft-repeated behaviour pattern, assume the best intentions. It's amazing how much less stressful life can be if you don't expect the worst from people.
  
• Then ask the person to clarify his/her intent. A simple question like "What do you mean by that?" can go a long way.

If after those simple steps, it becomes clear to you that the person had ill intentions, then walk away.

Christmas, good cheer, and the in-laws

Here is an interesting post on relationship dynamics around Christmas time:

Holiday gaffes

The comments from the readers are interesting also.

It had me thinking: how do you deal with in-laws when you don't get along with them? Should you even try to get along? Should you constantly keep your guard up and defend yourself and your convictions at every turn?

My philosophy, when it comes to personal relationships, is "Live and let live." I figure, unless lives are at stake, most arguments and ensuing resentment are not worth it. I wholeheartedly adhere to Steven Covey's Fifth Habit: "Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood." I also believe that nobody will be interested in you, until you show you are interested in them.

I've seen it in the workplace, I've seen it in families, I've seen it with my wife and my children. Until you start to take the focus away from yourself and turn it to others, the relationship dynamics cannot and will not change. Most of the time, the reason we keep the focus on ourselves boils down to one word: ego.

As Walt Kelly, the creator of the Pogo strip said: we have met the enemy and he is us.

Forgive and move on

A recent story in the local paper covered one of Quebec's most talented artists, Patrick Huard.

Huard gained fame first as a comedian. He then made a successful transition to the screen and has acted in more than 10 movies. One of his movies, Bon Cop Bad Cop, is the most successful Canadian box office hit of all time. This year, he is directing his first movie, Three Little Pigs.

During his interview, Huard says that some directors have complained that he is taking work away from them. They are saying that he should not direct a film because he hasn't studied the craft like they have.

Huard also says that he got the same type of flak when he made a transition from comedian to acting.

This is isn't the first time, and it won't be the last, that people get upset because someone tries to shake up the status quo. The first reaction is jealousy and often an attempt to stop the mavericks.

Think of the first women or the first Blacks who wanted to vote. Many were not too keen about the idea.

Think of the first civilians who want to attempt space flight. NASA was not too keen about the idea. All of a sudden, the grueling training that astronauts receive doesn't seem that important anymore. It takes away some of the panache of space flight.

I remember a few years ago, there was a dispute in Quebec about the profession of computer programmer. Engineers wanted to change some statutes to ensure that unless you had an engineering diploma, you could not call yourself "a programmer".

The problem with this is that when you let jealousy get the best of you, it prevents you from moving forward. Why? Because you are constantly fighting a battle to prevent things from progressing.

Jealousy, or holding a grudge, is like a poison flowing through your veins. And if you leave it unchecked, it slowly takes over you, clouds your judgement, and destroys your life.

In his program, "The Psychology of Achievement", Brian Tracy spends some time discussing forgiveness. He says, and I believe, that until you have forgiven and let go of the past, you cannot achieve ultimate success. Something will always be holding you back.

So, if you find yourself seething because someone else has something you don't, if you find yourself angry at people in your life, if your feelings towards other people are keeping you from getting to where you want to be in life, it may be time to forgive.

Forgiving will change much of your perspective on life. Once you have made a conscious decision to forgive, it's as if a weight is suddenly lifted from your shoulders.

I did this a very long time ago, without realizing how important it was to my further development as a human being, as a son, as a brother, as a friend, as a husband, and as a father.

I realize, now, that forgiveness is essential in business also. Many times, I have seen people go into a business deal with an aggressive attitude, with an attitude that says "You are not going to take advantage of me!" This makes it difficult to discuss, understand, and negotiate with a prospect or partner.

Someone who goes into a business endeavor with that attitude may have been wounded in the past. And because that wound still hurts, he may not accept that the person at the other end of this deal is not "out to get him". He will negotiate with a little voice constantly nagging in the back of his head. The little voice will be saying, "He wants to take you to the cleaners. He just wants to make money at your expense. He's going to take advantage of you." (Let me assure you that the same thing happens to women also!)

If you want to silence that little voice, use the power of forgiveness. Here it is in three steps:

1. Forgive your parents: most parents do the best they can with their children. And still, we (the parents) manage to mess up. Forgive your parents, completely. You don't need to tell them if your relationship with them is not conducive to such a discussion. Forgiveness is for you, not for them.
2. Forgive other people: forgive anyone who has ever hurt you, no matter what they did. Once again, you do not have to tell them that you forgive them. Just do it.
3. Forgive yourself: this may be the toughest one of all. Forgive yourself for all of the stoopid things you did in your life, whether you did it to others, or you did it to yourself.

Although this is easy to write, I realise that it is not necessarily easy to do. It took me years to go through the process. And periodically, I still need to forgive myself for the "bad things" I do.

What has helped me to forgive? Speaking to happy people. Reading about people who are happy with their lives. Having a good support group does wonders also.

I have learned, over time, to give every one the benefit of the doubt. To err is human, to forgive is divine. And it's much easier to let it go than it is to hang on to a grudge for a lifetime.

Are Your Friends Givers Or Takers

I had a very short night yesterday, and a very long day today. By the time 6:00PM rolled around, I was like a walking zombie. However, I had committed, weeks ago, to participating in an activity with some good friends.

I called them in the early evening, to let them know that I would probably not show up. Heck, I wanted to cancel because I felt so tired. In the end though, I decided to go anyway.

By the time I left them at 10::00 PM, I had much more energy than I did going in. That's what good friends do. Instead of dragging you down, they push you up.

Do you have people around you who suck all of your energy whenever you see them? You know the kind: their health is deteriorating, their marriage is crumbling, their children are driving them to an early grave. Heck, they're a walking country album!

If you have just one person like that in your life, it can be a constant drain on your life.

Here are some tips to help you deal with these energy-drainers in your life:

• Tell them how you honestly feel. Tell them that they are sucking the life juice out of you and you want it to stop. As long as you say nothing, they will assume you're all right with it.
• Laugh about it. Now, I don't mean to laugh at the person, I mean laugh at the situations. Exaggerate them! When you do, the other person may (yes, may) realize that he or she is constantly complaining. Sometimes, people just aren't aware of how often they complain.
• Ditch them. That's right, if you can't get them to stop complaining and it is really bugging you, stop all contact with that person. If you do so for a long enough period of time, something magical will happen. The next time you see that person and he or she starts complaining, it won't bother you in the least. All you will be thinking is, "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Poor child, still stuck in the quagmire and unable to get out."

Life is too short to let other people make you miserable. Don't give anyone permission to do so. And if those people are your "friends", go make better friends!


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